Our 20s are the third decades of our lives and our first decades as adults. It’s one of those seemingly frivolous times in the sense that everything goes, just live it up YOLO. But it’s also the decade that will decide which direction our life takes as the rest of the decades unfold. This is actually an amazing thing to know and realize. It means we can set ourselves up to get the best out of what life has to offer.
I have come across a number of very crucial ingredients that can deliver that potion. And give you that elixir of life. These elements are found in abundance in the lives of people who have lived great lives. With no further ado, let’s get into:
1. Join the gym
Man, this is the best decision I have taken in my first adult year. When it comes to any mission or endeavour, this one is like no other. I.e Practically taking responsibility for your physical body. I was a skinny kid all my life. Which I wasn’t content with. But once I decided to take responsibility and make a move towards what I wanted, I changed my life.
That was the first time I actually set a goal and took it so seriously. And oh boy did it deliver. It was the manifestation of success in literal physical form. Moulding my physical appearance. And once I discovered that power, I never wanted to ever lose it. It became more like an addiction, a good type of addiction. But ironically looking back, the mass I gained wasn’t best part. It was the discipline I developed that spilled over all other aspects of my life. And this has bestowed courage in me to win in other stages of my life. Whats more, by establishing this habit in your 20s, you’ve just made a billion dollar investment in your physical health for the rest of your life.
( Body building 101; https://mgkayzen.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=176&action=edit)
2. Have friends with similar aspirations
“Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are”, “birds of the same feather flock together”. These popular quotes that have become so cliche these days hold a lot of truth to them. I mean this is why we have cliques in schools. Where the smart ones, the nerds, the cool kids, the backbenchers, and athletes tend to seclude themselves exclusively. In any social setting, you tend to see people in a group having a mean attribute that brings them together. For instance, when I was in high school, I wasn’t the smartest kid. But because my friends all got good greats, mine were also fairly above average.
So if 3 out of 4 friends enjoy football, in time the 4th guy will naturally start fancying football. Similarly, if all your friends workout and they look fit, you will most likely gravitate towards that lifestyle. Heck, you see this phenomenon even in girls groups where their monthly cycles magically just synchronize (So I heard anyways).
This force is always present in our immediate environment. Thus you should mindful of the people you spend time with. Because whatever aspirations or life style they have, you are most likely going to end up in that boat.
Therefore, in your 20s, you will want to surround yourself with people that inspire you. People that are aspiring to go where you want to go in life. I personally gravitate towards friends that I think are better than me. Friends that I can learn from. Individuals that have a quality or a character trait, that I lack but want for myself. And inevitably by spending time with them, I also acquire such quality. So, take as friends people that inspire you to be better than you are now. Take as friends people with whom you share similar dreams with and watch yourself take off ๐ฆ.
3. Throw Your Self at Life
When you hit your 20s, you are officially a young adult. You are “legal” and can do pretty much whatever you want. This is a sweet caviar that you have as a young adult that other adults lack. You are only responsible for yourself. Unlike older adults that are already locked in their careers, with a family to support and kids to provide for amongst other thinks, you only have to worry about yourself (for now). Which means whatever you are thinking of trying or doing- this is the best time to take that chance.
But if you don’t leverage this window right now (while in your 20s), it’s going to be a lot riskier later on. Because by that time it wouldn’t be just you any more. By that time you have people depending on you, your family and kids. So it’s going to be alot harder to take risks or explore other opportunities. Because everytime you are taking a decision, you have to filter it all through these responsibilities around you.
Thus this is the only window we got to try our hands on anything that peaks our interest. We can explore the world, discover our passions and drink fully from the whims of life. Especially for does of us that don’t feel deeply passionate about any particular subject. Therefore, this is the best time to embark on a journey of self discovery; finding ones-self and then learning to self-express those qualities. Thus, being able to influence things that matter to you in the world.
3 years ago, I left my homeland and decided to move to Europe. Making that decision wasn’t easy. But that was one of the best decisions I have taken. I’ve met people, seized opportunities and lived experiences that I would never have been had I not dared to live.
You don’t want to click 60 to then decide to try new things and explore the world. Act on opportunities as they come. Live fully and conciously.
4. Personal Finance
“If your parents are paying for any part of your lifestyle and you’re over 22 and you shxt on them behind their backs for not helping more … you need to rethink your perspective on life” ~Gary V
This is the reality check, as soon as hit your 20s, you are already a full-grown adult even if you don’t “feel” like it. You have already lived on this blue planet for 2 decades. It’s high time you start earning your keep,and being responsible for your life. And the first step is getting your finances in order; Knowing what goes in your pocket and what goes out.
No matter the kind of financial support you are having or how well off you feel, you should make sure that you are spending less than what’s going in your pocket and start growing your income streams. Because how good you are in this sport will have a snowball effect on what your life will look like in the next couple of years. Yes, money might not be everything but we need it to move in life, and earning enough will take care of your personal needs and give you the stand to help anyone around you up too.
There are a 7 wonders of the world, and one of them is the power of compound interest. The best time to start was years ago. And the second best time is now. Start getting your self educated on being finacially competent to start growing your income streams and assets that will guarantee your financial freedom in the near future. Have one less thing to worry about in life, thus excelling on all stages in due time.
5. Seek Mentors and Coaches
Success leaves clues. Whatever you are trying to be in this world, there is a person that has done it already or is in a better position to show you how to get there. A mentor is a person you can learn from and that can make your journey a lot smoother and more efficient. Mentors and coaches are there to guide you and help mould your shoes to undertake the journey you are embarking on because they have gone through similar routes. Thus, it makes sense to follow the footstep of the one that is already where you are trying to reach.
So thrive to put yourself in a position where you will be in direct contact with the person you are looking up to. This is where you seek an apprenticeship, internship, or job at the dojo or company where you could be closer to your aspirations. And sometimes this kind of access might not come cheap but Knowledge is the only commodity that is almost always worth the price. So take action and get on their radar and watch yourself become more like the amazing people you look up to.
6.Become an avid Reader
There is a popular saying that “Leaders are readers”. And I go a step further to propose that “Readers are cheaters”. Because all the great men and women that have ever lived have leveraged and taken advantage of the work of people that came before them. They are cheaters in the sense that, they learn from people- success stories, people who had lived and ganered wisdom and provide all that life experience in words for whom ever so curious. Thus whoever has access to that wisdom shall wield an unequal advantage to everyone else. A reader is literally living multiple lifetimes over. Living and looking through the lenses of those who had made it and acquired a lifetime of value worth offering.ย So Readers are cheaters.
When we talk about leverage, when it comes to the human mind, individual growth and life mastery, reading is the greatest laverage there is. Whatever problem you have, there’s someone who has already gone through similar if not exact situation. So why not take advantage of that knowledge, learn from the mistakes of others so you don’t have to repeat them in your life, thus propelling yourself ever forward.
This point also lends it wisdom to the previous point about having people mentor you whom you aspire to be. You reading works & autobiographies of previous people who have achieved something you find inspirational is almost like having them mentor you. Imagine spending a week reading the autobiographies of Benjamin franklin, Mother Teresa or Steve jobs. It would be the same as you spending time with them, having deep conversations, and walking miles in their shoes and seeing the world through their lenses. So the unfair leverage of reading allows you to tap into the wisdom of great mentors that might be far away from your reach and even those that have left but who’s touch remain fresh on the world because of their influence. This is all made possible through reading.
And the best way to develop the habit of reading is to start reading books that you enjoy or topics that peak your interest. You can start with fiction; Your Harry Potter, adventure novels, Romance, or thrillers. And then in time start making your way your way into non-fiction. Whatever catches your interest, the most important thing is to take the first step forward and flip the first page.
7. Become Articulate
In the court room the one that wins the case is not always the innocent one, it’s the one who is able to present his case more convincingly.
Adolf Hitler, one of the most infamous tyrants of our time, once said ( and I paraphrase ),” the only thing created more powerful than the gun, is the microphone”.
There is no skill more powerful or distructive than being articulate. Look at religious leaders who are capable of convincing millions to believe in something they had never seen before. Cults and gang leaders herding people of their own accord to destruction, to politicians selling their agendas to us year in year out, and down to the last thing you bought online because you wanted it. The one who is articulate has tapped into the essence of the earth and has his lips on the ear of the world which is ready to dance to any tune he or she may bestow on it.
I know I have probably painted this with a drop of dark ink but that’s because it can be an instrument of self expression that can improve peoples’ lives or destroy it depending on who’s wielding it. We humans are social creatures, this is the the main distinction that we have over the rest of the animal kingdom. Humans are the only species than can communicate across genetic boundaries. We have been able to rise above the animal kingdom because we can dramatise our idea into the physical world.The gift of being able to organise each other in groups for the sake of a common goal.
Thus we built bigger communites, and cities from which nations rose. We got a community of people working as doctors to cater for our health, people in farms to provide food, people on stages to provide entertainment and so on. Thus enriching each others’ lives at every stage.
By hernessing this skill, you can congregate masses of people to act as an amplifier for your ideals which can bring about a positive impact to the race as a whole.
When it comes to horning this skill (leaning on my previous point) Jordan Peterson put it best, “To be articulate, learn to read, learn to think, and then learn to speak”. He went on to expatiate that, when you read something, put effort to write down what you’ve understood. When you do this, you’re basically laying your thoughts down on paper i.e thinking in plain logical term.
This is different than just having thoughts on your mind. Because when you have to lay your thoughts in writing, you are forced to present them in clear logical bullet points that make objective sense contrary to just having scattered clouds of ideas. Secondly, it slows down the pace and you get a better view and understanding of the concepts you are formulating . And by doing so, the next time you try talking about the topic with someone, your points are going to come out a lot neater, more convincingly logical and elequent.
Another way that you can go about horning this skill is to listen to articulate people that you fancy. Human beings are natural copycats. We learn from imitating each other. since when you were born, you learned by imitating how your mom and dad moved on their feet and talk. That’s how you learned how to walk, speak, and do every other human skill that’s considered common place.
8. Build Good Relationship
There’s a chinese proverb that I once came across when I was in highscool, it goes something like this
If you are planning for a year- plant rice. If you are planning for a decade- plant trees. And if you are planning for a 100 years- plant people.
Chinenese Proverb
When we were growing up, our classmates, playmates, and people around us where all similar to us- almost like a mirror. Same age, same grade, from the same city or even neighbourhood. But by the time we got into the university, everything began to change. Now all of a sudden there’s this diversity of individuals from all corners of the country and beyond, we got course-mates that are older or younger than us with different backstories. Everything is no longer that same one-dimentional-cookie-cup. From this diverse bunch, you meet groups of peculiar individuals that will introduce you to perspectives you never knew you were missing in life. While some will give you ice breaker lessons that toughens you up and offers you a better filter to view the world with. And you learn who to align yourself with in life as you move forward.
It’s beneficial that you learn to co-exist with people, especially does you don’t seem to dissolve readily with. Horn your communication skills even amongst foes. And try not be t someone’s heartache or double cross anybody. You should always aim to live on cleaner principles. Because now, you’re no longer on the play ground, and whom ever you decide to take advantage of, do well to keep in mind that it’s going to come back around and bite you in the ass. You’ll learn that no one really forgets, and forgiveness is a luxury that not everyone can afford.
However, it’s not about being buddy-buddy with everyone but it’s more so about getting intriguing people with similar aspirations and values to gravitate towards you as well. That’s the kind of circle you want to grow. As the saying goes, “If you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together”.
There’s this interesting truth about life I stumbled upon and come to understand that dictates that, “whaever you are looking for in life, that solution is in the possession of someone that you haven’t met yet”. And that thing might be worth a premium to get your hands on, but if you touch someones heart, they can offer it to you for free. It’s people that open doors for other people.
That said, you should never go into any relationship with an agenda in mind. Never wear a mask to deceive for personal gain. Do not deal in diception. The best of gifts are does given with no strings attached, whole-heartedely. Become the type of person that naturally gives with no thought of compensation. Life has a way of rewarding those that give just because they can, those that give just for the sake of giving. And no matter how much they give, their hands never dry up, but rather they are replenished with more. As if life is intentionally using them as gateways for abundance. And the tap that gives water is always wet.
That’s why if you noticed the happiest people in the world irrespective of conventional wealth or poverty, are the ones that walk with open hands and a smile, full of gratitude. In precedence, Wealthy people first provided massive value to society, acted with integrity, provided jobs to the masses and develop a character of integrity (for people to do business with them). Then the universe acted in tandem with them with abundance.
9. Horn your Mindset
As you go out in life, into the real world with no “boundaries” for the first time, you will notice all the people that you grew up with and your classmates will go their different directions (you included). Even when you are in the same lane with someone (eg career path or age-mate). They might sour above you or make it before you. You be just watching tv or surfing the internet, and you come across all these success stories; people doing great things. People living at their zenith. people your own age, but that’s the only thing you have in common.
But Bill Gates puts it best “Don’t compare yourself with anyone. If you do, you’re insulting yourself”. Every person is unique; one of one in the world. Everyone has their own timing and have been dealt different cards when starting out in life. You can’t view yourself through someone’s reality, or “try to be” someone else. Similarly, no one can be you, that spot is already taking, by you. Instead the best person to compare yourself with- is you, You of yesterday.
Work on getting a better version of yourself everyday. Whatever is meant for you, will find you. Plus if you are focusing on being like someone, you might be capping your potential. You’ll never know if you were actually capable of surpassing your so-called idols if you didn’t make their “peak” your goal. Thus, it’s very important when choosing mentors to never take them as idols because you can end up roofing your potential. Moreover, Every father wants his son to push further than he has, and soar higher than were he left off.
You should keep hid of where you are aiming at, because in our world of constant noise, it’s very easy to get distracted and get lost in someone’s tune. Listen to your own lullaby.
10. Be Selfish
Yes. You read that right. You should be selfish. Have huge aspirations for your life. Life is short and you get only one shot. So why not have dreams as wide as your imagination can fathom? As deep as your soul can wonder? The human potential is one of the biggest mysteries, sometimes even to the person himself. And if you don’t push yourself to the edges, you’ll never know what you can achieve and what lies beyond what you thought the edge was.
Also, you have to be very careful of who you give your time and energy to. Let’s say you try to help somebody and bring them up. That will only work if (as a prerequisite) they also want to get up. If not, there’s nothing you alone can do to change their state. But conversely, someone can easily bring you down to their level. Negativety is contageous unfortunately, protect your energy. You can’t help someone if they don’t want to help themselves. and you can’t help nobody if you yourself are in need of help.
So aim for the moon, and I hope you miss it, because I know you are going to end up among the stars ๐ฏ.
11. Start waking up early
This sounds so cliche, I know. But I personally think this is the most underestimated dicipline ever. This is the piece that brings everything together. Because if you don’t start early everyday, you can’t ever finish. Time is the only commodity that we have the same amount of no matter what chips we were handed in life. We all have just 24 hours in our day. If you can learn to master this commodity, if you can learn to get more out of your 24 hours, then definatetly you will get ahead. And once you master this skill and become consistent with starting your day earlier than most, you’ve already won whatever race you’re running. And it will soon be clear to all inevitably.
This will give you an abundance of good productive days. As having good days consistently is what leads to mastery in whatever you’re working on. After all, mastery is just a streak of consecutive good days over a long period of time.
Start waking up before the sun and you will get ahead in whatever you set your gaze on. This is the one disciplinary skill that couples everything together.
To Conclude
Life is a journey and getting ourselves prepared for it will ensure a smooth passage. That said, sometimes we get so focused on were we are heading (the end goal) that we forget about the most important thing- Which is living in the now. We are human beings. We are meant to “be”, in the “now”. So what ever you are trying to achieve or where ever you are going in life, you should always remember to enjoy the process. Life is long and great things take time. Thus, as you move forward, seek satisfaction in the journey, the experiences that you are partaking in. Cheers ๐ฅ.